Hello little peanut,

This is you at 7 weeks, 3 days old on our very first ultrasound! Your heartbeat is normal and healthy at 163 beats per minute and the ultrasound technician said everything was fine. I had a lot of bloodwork done, standard stuff, like AIDS testing and STD stuff and everything is looking absolutely perfect. We’ve got no diseases to worry about… my blood pressure is normal… and we’re doing well! Your heart sounded like Woosha-woosha-wooosha!!!!! Total smile on my face!!!

I have gained a lot more weight than normal though, but I’m convinced you’ll keep me on my feet after you’re born and the weight will melt off I have cravings for all sorts of foods that I never did before!

This is YOU! The ultrasound technician called you a peanut because that’s how small you were. So far, that’s what we’re calling you, since we don’t know your gender yet.

Love
Mommy

Hello beautiful baby,

I got to see you for the first time today! We saw you on the ultrasound and you are so super-itty-bitty-tiny! According to the ultrasound technician, you are 7 weeks and 3 days old today! Daddy and I conceived you on Thanksgiving night in Virginia Beach, VA when we were visiting his family for the holidays. We were staying at the Candlewood Suites and had a lovely, romantic, hypnotic night - so please know you were conceived in total and complete love.

We’ve been thinking about baby names and came up with these:

If you are a boy, we’ll call you Julius Dior
If you are a girl, we’ll call you Jade Annabelle

Grandpa says “Jade” reminds him of a character from Jonny Quest, a cartoon we watched when I was a kid. I really love Jade because it’s a name that embraces color, and you are going to be our mixed baby, a beautiful bundle of love! And “Julius” is the name of the character that Arnold Schwarzennegar played in Twins which was my favorite movie growing up. There are a lot of nicknames you can make with Julius like “Jules”; or “Jay” or “Jay-Jay” so you can totally play with it and get your friends to call you whatever you want!

Love
Mommy

Hello sweet baby,

Today we cleared out a room just for you so you can have your own space upstairs! We still don’t know how we plan on decorating your room. What kind of theme do you like? What things interest you? What colors do you like? When I close my eyes, I imagine you talking to me and letting me know what you like. But then again… you’re so tiny right now. Sometimes I wonder if you and I are communicating with each other yet. We haven’t put anything on the walls or carpet yet, but when we do… we’ll know it’ll be just right!

Sometimes the kitty cat sits on my lap and kneads my belly. Sometimes I think he actually knows I’m pregnant. Do you think he knows?

Love
Mommy

Hello little love,
Merry Christmas! You are the best present a mother could receive, thank you so much for your gift of life and your desire to be born. Daddy and I put little blue booties on the Christmas tree that said “Baby’s First Christmas” even though technically you’re still in my belly. We just wanted you to know you were there with us. We love you so much and can’t wait to see the ultrasound and get to hear your little heart beating!

Love
Mommy

Hello beautiful baby,
Today is Christmas Eve and we went to AEGIS again to discuss nutrition and pregnancy, and we also scheduled our first ultrasound! Pretty soon we’ll get to listen to your heartbeat!

I have dreams every night about you and wondering what you’ll look like, what gender you’ll be, and what kind of personality you’ll have! This is so exciting!

My energy has been pretty low for the last couple weeks, I feel so tired… gonna go nap!
Love
Mommy

Hello little one,
Today your father and I went to AEGIS and discussed our finances to make sure we are adequately prepared for your arrival. They’re willing to work with us which is a total blessing! We still don’t know how far along we are or when you were conceived. We’ve got to wait till we get an ultrasound, which won’t be too long from now. I’ve been calling the family to tell them all the great news and they are so glad you are coming into the world! We love you so much!
I love you
Mommy

P.S. We knew we were pregnant a few days ago when I started throwing up. I guess you’re trying to communicate with me, right?

Dear little baby
Today we found I’m pregnant with you! I took 2 pregnancy tests at home, both positive… then your father and I went to Planned Parenthood for a third pregnancy test and that was positive too! This is so exciting! We never thought we could even GET pregnant to tell you the truth. You are a miracle in the making and I will take SUCH good care of you! I love you already and wish I could hug you.

Did you know that I’ve been trying for nine years to get pregnant? Many years ago, doctors diagnosed me with PCOS and your daddy’s testosterone isn’t nearly as high as it used to be. Both of our doctors told us the odds of us ever having children was slim at best.

After years of battling infertility, I’m convinced the reason I conceived is a combination of meditation, spirituality, and freak battle of insomnia/pneumonia/allergic reaction that landed me in the hospital. It’s hard for me to get into, but when you’re older I’ll explain in vivid detail. Essentially what I experienced in the hospital was a spiritual revelation. Four months after the hospital incident, here I am. Pregnant. This may sound incredulous, but I had reached a point in my life where I thought I had accomplished everything there was to achieve in life, given my circumstances. I had already surpassed every goal I ever had and felt my purpose in living had already been fulfilled (other than having a child). It almost seemed as if Source had looked over me and decided it was time. And, I get chills just saying this, I swear… I feel your soul and my soul “met” and you decided I was going to be your mommy. Did you know that according to Sufi mysticism, the scholars believe that children pick one or both of their parents?

I called your grandfather today (my dad) and he’s excited to meet you and is jumping out of his skin that he’ll be a first-time grandpa! He wants to “dote” you - those are his words! He called you a “lottery baby” since you’re an absolute miracle!

I love you I love you I love you

My hope is that one of these days, you’ll look back on this blog and realize how much we have loved you ALL the way back to conception.

Mommy

P.S. I can’t believe I’m going to be a mommy!!!