Hello little one,

Last night your father and I dined at one of our favorite restaurants in town called Turkuaz Cafe. It’s a nice little Turkish place where people sit on the floor amongst exquisite rugs, tapestries, and low round wooden tables. The walls show a bit of culture with handpainted plates, jars, etc. and the corners often have books a person can read about Turkey so while we’re eating… we can learn about the country!

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Hello my musical one,

Wow do I have news! When I was four years old, my parents bought me a piano which I fell in love with but never actually played (and later the piano was sold before I ever took lessons). My whole life, I’ve had this obsession with pianos… really, if you see how my heart skips when I see a piano, you might even feel inclined to laugh.

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My dear loving child,

I know the day will come when you ask me about my brother (who is severely brain damaged and physically disabled) and it’s one of those conversations I’ve been replaying in my head a thousand times without any real sense of how to break it to you. One day you’ll meet him and my hope is that his circumstances, if anything, will show you that even in the face of extreme physical and mental challenges, people can find happiness. When I was about 10 or 11 years old, my parents introduced me to a book about a quadraplegic woman named Joni Eareckson Tada and it touched me on an intimate level. She learned how to create beautiful, exquisite paintings simply by holding a paintbrush in her mouth! It was fascinating. Back when Christopher Reeves was still with us, I handwrote him a letter via snail mail and expressed my love and hope to him when he first had his accident (and I was still a kid myself). There is never a time too early to share with you all the diversities that human beings have to offer. Sometimes, I actually love people *more* when they have disabilities, simply because of your Uncle Abe.

Here is a youtube video of a man playing the guitar with his feet because his arms only exist in spirit. I hope it inspires you in a way that not only touches your heart, but catapults your passion for life.

Love
Mommy

Dear sweet batkid,

As your daddy and I drove downtown to go shopping for a new birdfeeder, more maternity clothes, and a few decorative rugs… and right at the moment we crossed the intersection near the 47 bypass and College Ave., I blurted out, “Hey I have a question. How do we want to introduce our child to the movie The Dark Knight?”

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My beautiful miracle,

Perhaps this photo isn’t exactly something you’d find in a pregnancy blog, but I feel absolutely compelled to share something on my mind… that’s a bit hard to talk about. We live on a beautiful, lush earth filled with emotional species of all kinds. There are many of us that inhabit this planet, humans and animals and everything in between all trying to live our lives with elements of happiness, success, and the simple luxuries that are often found in friendships. There are times within our lives where we may be forced by unforeseen circumstances to experience substandard living situations that require simply “surviving.” The photo I’m sharing with you is of a child in Darfur, whose family is one of millions who have been left homeless, jobless, and most often times… starving.

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Hello dear popper,
Wow today I felt you moving around in my womb! I was lying on my side, typing on the computer (specifically, I was updating this website) and all of a sudden felt this pop-pop-pop pop pop-pop POP-pop Pop-poppop… it felt like popcorn popping in my womb and it was you! Wow. You’re a little popcorn maker aren’t you? Daddy came downstairs and I said, “We’ve got popcorn!” and he looked at me all confused, so I said, “I feel the baby! It’s going pop-poppop-popopop!” and he smiled and got excited… then minutes later I said, “There the popcorn goes again! Baby must be dancing!” Daddy wanted to know if you were rightside up or upside down and to be honest, I couldn’t tell (too early in pregnancy), so I said, “Baby’s freedancing in all directions!”

You sure know how to make an entrance, little one Now all you need is a motorcycle and some shades!

Love
mommy

Hello dear baby,
You’re 15 weeks old today! This is what you look like so far in my womb:

15 Weeks Pregnant

Dear little love,

Most pregnant women get over the morning sickness by week 12. I’m way past that and still get sick every day. All kinds of things make me run to the trash can, whether it be the sight, smell, taste, or even thought of something. For weeks, I’ve barely been able to keep down the prenatal vitamins that were prescribed to me. Every other night, they’d come back up. Not too pretty, right? Well your daddy called my doctor when I was having one of those unsightly moments and we were told I no longer have to take those prescription prenatal vitamins anymore. So now they’ve moved me to Flintstones Vitamins (I take two instead of one, for the right amount of folic acid) and chew them before swallowing. They’re like sour apple candies LOL. The good news is that, although I’m still throwing up, at least the vitamins stay down. Looks like you’re getting the most important part!

Love
Mommy

Hello sweet child of mine,

I’ve always known the romantic-type of love… the beautiful way in which I love your daddy… but I’ve never had the opportunity to embrace the love that I have towards the preciousness that your innocence contains within, simply by existing calmly and peacefully in my body. And when the day comes when you draw on the walls, I will work on my instincts to lovingly handle every situation with poise and ease. I wish to love and raise you in a way that makes you feel blessed to be alive, happy to breathe, and charitable in heart.

Every day is the unwrapping of a gift, an unknowing present of unfathomable passion for the people we love in our lives. Today, my dear sweet child, you are a seedling, a little tree growing in hopes of blossoming little red leaves. I see so much potential for you. Reach for the sun, the moon… reach for the ground, even. Go where your heart pulls you. You’ll have my support for all of time. Even your great-grandmother (on my mom’s side) says, “Follow your bliss.” That’s sound advice, yes?

Love
Mommy

P.S. As one artist says, “I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean.”

Dear sweet child,
I love this art designed by Alex Grey. Throughout the last year, I’ve had many profound experiences looking at Alex’s art. Perhaps as you get older, you’ll feel the same way. It’s magical, surreal, and surprisingly honest in its purest form.

Your heart is beating inside me… sometimes when I lie on my back, I’ll look at my womb and swear I can see my belly beating at a different speed than my chest. I know you’re in there, love. Mommy hears you.

Love
Mommy