Hello Julius,

We’re counting down the weeks, the days! It’s hard to believe that in just 5 days, you will be considered “full term” at approx. 37 weeks. The doctors say that babies that are delivered between 37-41 weeks have the best chance at living the healthiest lives! This is so exciting!!

I’ve been feeling some contractions lately although sometimes it’s hard for me to tell the difference between a contraction and the “lightening” (that’s the process of you actually moving down into my pelvic area). I can DEFINITELY feel you shifting lower and lower in my body, which is a great thing because it means you’re getting ready to be in the right position for birth! I’ve had a lot of lower back pain - sometimes so painful that I’m confined to the bed. I’ve tried sitting on the birth ball and rotating my hips, doing floor and walking exercises, having your father press on my sacrum with the “butterfly hands” technique on my tailbone, resting in a recliner, lying in different positions in bed, it all hurts. My doula says maybe it’s because your spine is against my spine. Today I’ve had less back pain and have felt you shifting a lot so my assumption is that maybe you’re spine is now against my stomach. It’s hard to tell without an ultrasound! I’ve also had a lot of heartburn and Tums doesn’t really work for more than half an hour. Other mothers on a pregnancy website who had the same issue with heartburn suggested I stop taking Tums (which I had been eating like candy since December and can cause kidney stones if taken too much) and try Pepcid AC Complete. Wow that stuff works like a lifesaver! Just one pill and my heartburn is reduced all day! If you ever get heartburn, you have to try it! It’s nice stuff.

Yesterday I bought a ring sling from eBay for a decent price and it’s handmade and looks like you’d be very comfortable in it (and me too) - and it has extra fabric for dangling over my shoulder so that I can breastfeed you in public while giving us privacy. I think breastfeeding is natural and thankfully in this city, it’s perfectly legal to breastfeed ANYWHERE in public - in fact, the law actually states that mothers have the “right to breastfeed anywhere we have the right to be.” Although I feel breastfeeding is nothing to be ashamed of, I do respect that some citizens get a little weirded out when they see a breast pop out in public. That’s partly why I picked this specific baby carrier. It’s a perfect way for me to carry you from place to place without a big bulky stroller during your first few months (although we DO have a big bulky stroller already LOL)… and you can be close to my heart. I’ll be able to carry you against my chest in a sling and be able to breastfeed you anytime you’re hungry while still giving us privacy and allowing us to have a bit of sacred space. The sling should arrive in a few days!

Today I bought 5 nursing bras. It may not seem like much news, but trust me - if you knew how hard it was to find nursing bras in my size, you’d understand what a relief it was to be able to get five of them at an affordable price! I am crossing my fingers that they arrive before YOU do so that I don’t leak all over the place at the hospital. Just have to remember to put one in the maternity bag.

I’ve prepared our hospital birth plan and it’s been printed out and placed in the maternity bag. It contains my wishes for delivery - everything from pain medicine to possible c-section scenarios to delivery positions to how soon I want you weighed after birth. The maternity bag is halfway packed. It still needs a few more things in it, but it should be ready tomorrow. One thing I absolutely have to have is the book “The Essential Rumi” by the Persian poet Rumi (translated by Coleman Barks). The book calms me. It relaxes me. It grounds me. Whether I read it to myself or have it read to me - the feelings I get from it are so beautiful. I hope one day you will allow me to introduce you to the beautiful poetic works of Rumi.

Your father and I have discussed the possibility of circumcising you. In the beginning we were both for it. But after doing my own research and talking about it with lots of women, my opinion is that you should not be circumcised unless it is YOUR wishes. I mean, it’s genital mutilation! Plus circumcision stems from a religious practice - which is ridiculous. Anyway. I’ve decided to allow your father to make this decision because he is a man. I think a decision like this should only be left to a man. He is still undecided. No matter what decision he makes, I will support it. At this stage though, please know that he has at least heard my opinion on the matter and whatever he decides, I promise you he has spent many months contemplating it. We’ve done so much research. We even watched videos of actual circumcision and saw babies crying in so much pain that their faces turned blue and were choking cause it hurt so much. As a mother who hates seeing anyone in pain, I cannot for the life of me put it on my own conscience to bring you into this world only to have you mutilated shortly after you arrive on this earth. But then again, I certainly believe wholeheartedly that any decision based on permanent choices dealing with a penis can only truly be chosen by a man. Your father knows better than I do, in today’s culture in America, what you might want him to choose for you. We’ve had a lot of discussions about this, and I am confident that whatever happens will be the right choice because it’s based on both research as well as love.

Your aunt Tammy sent you a very generous gift today! This is certainly going to help a LOT in your first few months, especially with diapers, wipes, and disposable items - that I expect we’ll go through faster than oxygen! She loves you very much and she is very excited that you are coming into the world. We’re both Tigger fans, not just from Winnie-the-Pooh, but from our beloved cat who we named Tigger. He was a very special cat to both of us that strengthened our sisterly bond to one another. He past away recently but his spirit is always with us. Your father and I have decorated your room with Pooh and Tigger stuff for a few reasons: 1) Tigger is sentimental to me. 2) Pooh likes honey! 3) It’s classic - which means if you end up in therapy when you’re older, at least it won’t be because of the nursery decor 4) It gives family and friends from all over the country the opportunity to find and pick stuff to match your room without having to go out of their way to find it. Your grandmother on your father’s side (Grandma Alice) has sent you some Pooh toys and even a frame! Your room is really coming together!!!

People say “I love you” all the time. Sometimes people use love as a reason to excuse themselves for being unreasonable, irrational, or even hysterical. Love has many definitions. Each person has their own view of what love actually IS - and wow, that will be one great conversation I look forward to having with you one day. I could tell you I love you a thousand times, but I think real love comes in actions, not words. It is my intention to be a blessing and a leader in your life who is both a role model as well as a confidant. Sometimes the best kind of love is just to be there.

Love
Mom