Dear Julius,

You are such an inspiration! Did you know you smile in your sleep? While you’re sleeping, I love to paint and draw… and when I peek over at you… you’re smiling. It’s the sweetest thing. It really is.

Sometimes when I hold you and can hear you breathing, feel your weight in my arms, and feel your little hand gripped around my finger - I’m reminded of just how lucky I am. You are a miracle through and through. I’ll never forget that. I still can’t believe you’re here. Grateful doesn’t cover it. I’m walking on air.

There’s more photos of you in this outfit! Check out “The Awesome Julius - 7 weeks” set in the photo gallery!

Love
Mom

Hello my sweet little Julius,

You are so adorable wow! When you smile, you just light up the whole room. You melt me heart so much. Watching you grow is an honor and I am so proud of you. Not only are you beautiful but everyone that holds you thinks you are sweet and lovable. You have so many fans!!! The monkey in the background is a special gift from our friend Jason who we nickname the “Monkey King.” It’s just perfect for you, you seem to dig it.

Right now you’re sleeping in daddy’s arms while he’s resting in the recliner. He fell asleep with the XBox 360 controller in his hand haha. Don’t worry, mommy’s watching you

I uploaded a new set of photos (you’re 6 and a half weeks) in the “Monkey Heaven” section in the photo gallery. Be sure to check it out to see the rest.

Your toothless grin is soooo cute:

Here’s a video of you cooing in the bassinet with your monkey:

With all my love,
Mom

Hello Julius,
You’re asleep in the baby swing right now wearing the first outfit from the hospital (the blue one with the puppies on it) along with a clean diaper and a full belly. This past week has been a real blessing both for you as well as daddy and I because all three of us are learning a little bit more about how to interpret your cries. When it’s my turn to watch you, I’m usually able to tell within a few seconds what you’re crying about and what I can do to relieve it. I love being able to read your body language!

Things you do to communicate:
* When you’re hungry or thirsty, you’ll put your hand in your mouth while smacking your lips. Almost all the time, you’ll elongate your neck backward and stretch, open your mouth, and lift your hands to your mouth and then away from your mouth and then back to your mouth again. You’ll also move your head from left to right really fast and breathe really heavy and fast in short intervals. If we don’t receive milk quick enough, you’ll begin to make little tiny cute baby cries as if telling us to hurry up. While the bottle is being warmed, you usually end up crying very loudly (and for an extended period of time) and we’ll pick you up and hold you and tell you it’s coming soon.

* When you’re diaper needs to be changed, you’re usually pretty patient. Most of the time you don’t cry when your diaper needs changing, however when we’re actually putting a new diaper on you - sometimes you’ll shriek really loud if you don’t have milk or a pacifier in your mouth. Something tells me you’re not a big fan of cold air cause you kick sometimes when having your diaper changed.

* When you want to be held, you’ll put both of your hands in front of you, kick your legs, and sometimes cry.

* When you need to be burped (which is after every feeding), we’ll start first by sitting you straight up while propped on our lap which almost always makes you burp. If that doesn’t work, we’ll lay you against our shoulder and pat or rub your back until you burp. Lately the burps have been coming out really fast and you RARELY cry with burps anymore because we switched you to Soy Formula. It seems to help a LOT with the air bubbles and gas. You cry 85% less than before!!! HAPPY PARENTS! HAPPY BABY!!

* When you have gas, you’ll kick your legs really hard and cry until it comes out. When this happens, the most I can do is hold you and move you in as many positions as I can until one of them feels more comfortable than another. Sometimes we’ll pat or rub your back to help it come out faster.

* When you are overstimulated and just want silence, you’ll usually cry no matter what we do as far as holding you, rocking you, putting you in swing, etc. So we usually lay you on the bed in our bedroom where there are is no tv playing, no radio playing, no sound at all… and the ceilings are over 25 feet tall so the sounds reverberate in there, which I guess keeps you from wanting to hear your own cries. If we put you in there on the bed, sometimes it’ll get you to stop crying and you’ll fall asleep.

Things you like:
* You like it when people hold you while sitting or rocking
* You like being in the baby swing
* You like being fed without having to cry for it
* You like car rides as long as your head is fully supported
* You enjoy listening to all sort of types of music: soft tempo as well as fast tempo
* You love it when people sing to you
* You love it when people hold you while walking around
* You love peeing and pooping on people (I know this cause you smile when you do it)
* You like seeing your own reflection in the spinning mobile
* You like to be bundled really tightly in a baby blanket
* You like the feeling of being in a hooded towel after being cleaned
* You like warm baby wipes, not the cold ones

Things you don’t like:
* Being in a carseat when the car is either parked or not moving
* Being bathed
* Having to wait for milk to arrive when you want it immediately
* A poopy diaper

Other things:
From time to time, we’ll put baby lotion or baby oil on you which you seem to like. Not only does it moisturize your skin, but it makes you smell soooo good and leaves your skin looking fresh and feeling soft.
There’s a few other things too, but those are the main ones. This is so very exciting!

You’re doing a great job with gripping! You grip on to my hair a lot and sometimes won’t let go, so I wear my hair back most of the time. You’re learning how to grip the bottle. Also you have learned the difference between a pacifier and a baby bottle simply by how it feels when we touch your upper lip with it.

Love
Mom

Dear Julius,

Wow you are so adorable today. Daddy just arrived from Virginia and you were excellent in the backseat waiting for daddy at the airport. Today you were smiling and beaming from ear to ear. Maybe deep down you knew he was on his way home! I missed your father so much while he was there. I surprised him by taking some photos of you smiling and even made a video. When he came home, he was so so so happy to see how they turned out. And you have been such a GOOD boy, let me tell you! Lately you’ve grown accustomed to sleeping in the swing which has been a lifesaver because it lets me get chores done during the day. Daddy came home and you didn’t cry at all. He hugged you so tight and said he loved you and missed you. Today we are all very very happy. It sucks being apart from the people you love.

There are more pics of you in the photo gallery - click on “Julius Smiling” to see the rest!

Hope you like the video:

Love
Mom

Hello little Julius,

Wow already past 5 weeks! You sure do grow fast! It seems like just yesterday I was pregnant with you and felt you kicking. This is truly an amazing experience for me - watching you grow like this. Every day its as though you’re learning new things. Right now you’re sleeping in the swing listening to Bob Dylan and Van Morrison sing the acoustic version of “Crazy Love” on a Sirius radio station called “The Coffee House.” You really seem to love listening to the same music as me - it relaxes you and calms you down, especially when you’ve been crying. You’ve been crying less and less as you and I have gotten to know each other and communicate better. I can usually tell by your hands and body language what you need and most of the time I get lucky. The bond you and I share is so beautiful. I love you and I love your father with my whole life. You are the perfect addition into our little family.

Earlier this morning your Aunt Tammy flew back to California. Your father is still in Virginia visiting family and will be back in a couple days. That means I’ve got you all to myself this weekend. Today I needed to get caught up on sleep so I let you stay with a local babysitter named Tara. You sometimes stay with my post-partum doula, Cheryl. Both have been great and you seem to like them! Starting Tuesday, your daddy and I are going to start interviewing potential live-in nannies and see if we hit it off with any of them. So far we’re getting lots of replies from people with newborn experience which is so great! It’ll take some time for us to call all the references, but it’ll be worth it. It’s important that whoever enters our lives will be the perfect fit for you.

I spent a week compiling some special moments of you on video. Here’s a short video:

Check out the photo gallery and video gallery to see the full set of pics.

Love
Mom

Dear Julius,
Here are some photos of you and your Aunt Tammy. She spending the week with us and flew all the way from California to help take care of you with your daddy gone. Daddy will be back soon, don’t worry. He says to tell you he loves you very much and I’ve spent a great deal of time relaying hugs and kisses to you for him. He’s just visiting family and relatives back in Virginia. We’d take you along but you’re so little and your immune system needs to get stronger before we can go on long road trips, travel long distances, or go in public places.

It is nice having Tammy here and she holds you a lot, rocks you to sleep, and says things like, “Helloooo Julius aren’t you cute. Aren’t you cute. Yes you are. Yes you are.” It was cool. She even was nice enough to hook me up with an hour long massage with Marisa, a spa pedicure, AND a European manicure which was super fun! The massage was spectacular and helped my neck and back pain. Right now I feel INCREDIBLE. She even surprised me with a Tiffany bracelet and a wad of cash that was very much needed. I gave her my Chloe bag and matching wallet that I bought in London at Herrod’s and called us even

Having her here has been such a blessing!

Check out the photo gallery to see more pics of you and Tammy together!

Love
Mom

Julius,
Your aunt Tammy has flown in from California this week to spend some time with you while Daddy is visiting Virginia. You keep us pretty busy these days and it’s time for me to sleep. Here’s some photos Tammy took of you and me hanging out.

Check out the baby gallery for more photos of us together!

Love
Mom

Julius,

Most of the time I bottle feed you cause it helps you sleep better. However sometimes when we’re outdoor and I don’t have a bottle, well, out comes the tit.

So anyway today was a very very special day because I heard you laugh for the first time! You looked right at me and laughed with your cute little toothless grin. It couldn’t have come at a more perfect time because I was having one of “those days” and really needed a pick me up. It’s like you read my thoughts or something. It’s like you were laughing just to cheer me up. It made my week! Did I tell you you’re beautiful???

More photos of you in the photo gallery!

Love
Mom

Hey Julius,

Your great aunt Becky got you a cool shirt from Catalina Island that says, “I May Be Small, But I’m Still The Man,” - here are some photos of you wearing it! Also your Grandmother Velara bought you a hooded towel, and a personalized outfit with your name on it for when you’re a few months older (I’ll take a picture of you wearing it when you can fit it). The shirt already fits you well enough to photograph you wearing it, so here you go! You look soooo cute! I love the shirt on you! Be sure to tell them thank you, son

For more photos of you in this shirt, check out the “I May Be Small” set in the photo gallery!

Love
Mom

Hello lovely Julius,

The most common question I get asked these days is, “How does it feel to be a mom?” The answer can best be explained by an internal conversation I often have with nature. I’ll do my best to explain.

Earlier today you cried up a storm, so I took an office chair outside on the porch and listened to the rain with you in my arms. Listening to sounds of rain dancing between leaves of the trees to the ground soothed your cries and put you to sleep. I closed my eyes along with you to imagine how the rain must have sounded from your perspective. For a while there, it sounded like white noise. And from a higher consciousness point of view, it was out of this world. I can’t help but wonder if there is a possibility that maybe the reason rain calms you down is because you’ve heard it before. Humans were born with a desire to seek knowledge. We all have questions. When it comes to understanding life and how we were created, the answers have and will always be debated.

As you slept, I watched the squirrels climb the trees with their sharp fingernails. Then I watched the blank white, grey sky feed the earth with nutrients. Then at the little grass movements, sparkling randomly over the yard. Then at the green weeds spiraling beside the sidewalk. Then at the red cardinal perched on a bronze bar eating the birdseed. Then the Japanese oak tree that had a bug crawling on a fragile red leaf. And during those moments, I said thank you. I don’t know who or what god is. But I know that squirrels can climb. And that they learned it. And I know the sky has color. And it came from light. And I know that grass reacts to water droplets. And I know that all life is - is a chain reaction to something. And I know that life is resilient, even around concrete. And I know that birds are attracted to the smell of food just like the moon is attracted to our gravity. And I know that bugs learn to crawl on what is pleasing to them, regardless of culture or religion.

So I said thank you. And then I said thank you again. I said thank you to the urge that squirrels get to climb. I said thank you to the spectrum of light that comes from the sun millions of miles away to create color. I said thank you to the water for agreeing to leave the space within the gas of the clouds to land on the grass. I thanked the weeds for poking their heads and saying hello - for being resilient. Hello, I recognize you. I said thank you to the bird for co-existing on the porch with us without fear, aggression, or need to defend. I said thank you to the reason bugs learn to crawl, walk, and fly in the first place. It’s a constant progression, wanting to grow and move forward, to reach for the next step. And I kept saying thank you, to everyone, with great attention to a combination of spacetime and love for building the men who drove to work to build the bricks on the side of the house.

I don’t have to wonder if anyone heard my thanks. The fact that you are here and in my arms is more than enough proof for me. You are a miracle. One day I’m confident you’ll understand the odds - and will grow to have the same appreciation and awe that I do. The same way that scientists understand math is the same way I understand your existence. I grok a lot of it, and yet… that there are plenty of answers far beyond reach… all the more reason to keep us motivated to reach our arms forward. It is for this inate purpose that I believe all of us humans find time to take a moment to create a thought which leads to a crossroads where a choice is formed. From that choice comes a reflection and with growth, greater understanding of consequences and future chain reactions. The more knowledge we gain in life, the better informed our decisions because we have higher odds of predicting the most benefitial outcome for all involved. Choices lead to actions. We make a choice and our brain processes it. So when we decide to learn to crawl, it all starts with a thought. At this stage in your life, dear Julius, I suspect your thoughts are mostly about discovery and exploration. Choices and actions will come later.

Most of all, I thanked whoever or whatever… or however the maker of the sun and moon decides to understand those thoughts… could hear me… for bringing you into the world.

You were conceived out of love. And you were born amongst friends. The next time we go outside, let’s say hello to our new companions and plant a gift.

How does it feel for me to be a mom? It feels like discovering how grass grows EVERY time I look at you. We’re in this together, buddy. And I love every part of it, even the most challenging of moments.

I love you.

Above is a photo of you wearing your new outfit while hanging out on a Boppy Pillow! Be sure to say thank you to my cousin Cammie who gave you a pair of shoes and a gift card at Babys ‘R Us. I used the gift card to get these things for you and you REALLY seem to like them! The outfit can be worn for another two months which is great! Room to grow!

If you want to see more photos of you wearing this outfit, check out the “Boppy Pillow” photos in the photo gallery.

Love
Mom